[Image via GQ]

Well, at least he won something this year. GQ has named former presidential candidate Mitt Romney one of its least influential people. The list is “a collection of people so uninspiring that we should round them all up and stick them on an iceberg.”

The magazine explains that although Romney is listed as No. 1, the list is ranked in no particular order, “because all zeroes are created equal.” However, it did note that “voting for Mitt Romney is like hooking up with the last single person at the bar at 4 a.m.” Other noninfluential on the list included Amanda Bynes, Michelle Obama, Ryan Lochte, and Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer.

Michelle Obama?!?

Today's "Must Read": GQ investigates income inequality in America:

I ask Frantz to show me his neighborhood. He says there's nothing really to see. He rarely goes out—only to work and to church and to play soccer. Everywhere else is too dangerous. When we head outside, I scurry from his front door to the car. A smashed-up police cruiser lies abandoned on the corner. We take a drive past the one place on earth he has some fun: the soccer field in the public park.

Six miles later, we reach the Capital Grille. Usually he catches the bus, which takes an hour. When he works late and misses the 1 a.m. bus home, he has to stand there until the next one comes at 4 a.m.

"Do you ever wonder what the customers' lives are like?" I ask.

"I don't know nothing about the customers," says Frantz. "I've never seen them."

I look at him. "You've never seen a customer?" I ask.

"Never," he says.

"Do you know how much the steaks cost?" I ask.

"I never saw a menu," he says. "They're in the restaurant, not the kitchen."

His last words to me, before I head off to visit someone who makes five times what he does, are "If I get money, I'm going to leave."

Now, go read and come back and discuss.