Yes, FSM help us, the 2012 Presidential campaign has returned. Back from his “rollercoaster” election campaign, Mitt Romney has emerged from hiding to criticize President Obama’s handling of the sequester.

In his first public comments since Election Day, Romney slammed Obama for “berating Republicans” instead of leading the country, adding that the president’s habit of “blaming and pointing” has contributed to Congress’s inability to reach a deal. “That causes the Republicans to retrench and to put up a wall and to fight back,” he told Fox News’s Chris Wallace.

In a previously released clip, Romney compared the campaign to a roller coaster.

“It’s different. But it’s like, you know, riding on a roller coaster. We were on a roller coaster, exciting and thrilling, ups and downs. But the ride ends. And then you get off. And it’s not like, oh, can’t we be on a roller coaster the rest of our life? It’s like, no, the ride’s over,” Romney said, according to an excerpt provided by Fox News. This rather gives new meaning to that post-election trip to Disneyland.

Meanwhile, poor Not-A-First-Lady Ann Romney reflected on being a “nobody” in her post-election life.

“You know, it’s interesting; in our church, we’re used to serving and you know, you can be in a very high position, but you recognize you’re serving. And now all of a sudden, you’re released and you’re nobody,” she said. “And we’re used to that. It’s like we came and stepped forward to serve. And you know, the other part of it was an amazing thing, and it was really quite a lot of energy and a lot of passion and a lot of — a lot of people around us and all of a sudden, it was nothing.

In a preview, Wallace told Politico's Patrick Gavin that Ann feels the pain of the loss.

"I'd say he is in a better place than she is," Wallace said, reflecting on the interview. "Not to say she’s bitter — and she enjoys her life. Look, they live on the beach, north of San Diego and a bunch of their grandkids are around. You know, they’ve got a pretty great life. But I think she feels the pain and the "what-ifs" and the hurt more than he does. And that comes through in the interview. There’s a lot of emotion that comes through in the interview, and she’s more open about it — the "what might have been."

The Fox News host said that Romney "Obviously thinks he made some mistakes," but is "very defensive and very supportive of his campaign." He also said Romney pointed to a liberal media bias and a "long and expensive" primary battle as factors in the loss, but described the former candidate as "at ease" and "serene about it."

The full interview airs on Fox News Sunday this weekend.

Illustration by Robert Grossman/Rolling Stone

Uh oh. This is not going to be a good day for Mittens:

For Mitt Romney, it's one scary Halloween. The Presidential candidate has just learned that tomorrow afternoon he will be charged by the United Automobile Workers (UAW) and other public interest groups with violating the federal ethics in government law by improperly concealing his multi-million dollar windfall from the auto industry bailout.

At a press conference in Toledo, Bob King, President of the United Automobile Workers, will announce that his union and Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) have filed a formal complaint with the US Office of Government Ethics in Washington stating that Gov. Romney improperly hid a profit of $15.3 million to $115.0 million in Ann Romney's so-called "blind" trust.

The Nov. 1, 2012 press conference is scheduled for 2 p.m. EST at the UAW on Ashland Ave., Toledo, Ohio.

Saturday night, during a fundraiser at the Beverly Hilton Hotel about 1,500 people paid up to $50,000 to see the Republican nominee for president speak. Guests were also entertained by comedian Dennis Miller, but it seems that the Romney campaign could've easily skipped that expense.

Via:

Romney’s wife, Ann, was in attendance, and the candidate spoke of the concern he had for her when her plane had to make an emergency landing Friday en route to Santa Monica because of an electrical malfunction.

“I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were,” Romney said. “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound.”

Didn't they have science class in that fancy private school?

“Saturday Night Live” ripped Mitt Romney on his taxes and his 47 percent comment. But the NBC show also defended the Republican presidential candidate by letting his wife, Ann -- played by Kate McKinnon -- blast GOP naysayers on “Weekend Update.”

“Do you really think this would be going better if you’d nominated someone else? Who? Rick Santorum?,” “SNL” had Mrs. Romney saying. “Do you think you missed the boat with Newt Gingrich? If you think I’m unrelatable, check out Callista Gingrich. She’s like a character from ‘Mars Attacks.’ ”

The “SNL” Ann Romney blasted Ron Paul as “a lunatic who doesn’t understand how voting works.” She said Rick Perry’s name three times, and Perry (Bill Hader) showed up from under the desk. “If this race was so winnable, how come Jeb Bush, Chris Christie and Marco Rubio decided not to run?” the candidate’s wife asked.

Romney certainly gave the "SNL" writers a lot of material to work with in the last week. “Weekend Update” anchor Seth Meyers ridiculed Mitt Romney for paying a 14 percent tax rate, “just a little less than restaurants add on for a party of six or more.” How did Romney pay such a low rate? “He claimed 47 percent of Americans as dependents,” Meyers said.

Meyers also weighed in on speculation that Romney applied a self-tanner before appearing on Spanish-language TV. “Speculation? He looks like my dad’s recliner,” Meyers said.

Meyers offered President Obama some advice during the "Weekend Update" segment, “What Are You Doing?” Meyers wondered why Obama said he couldn’t change Washington from the inside.

“Why are you saying anything during Romney's tailspin?” Meyers asked. “Don’t do anything to take the focus off the Romney follies. Their campaign is getting crazier than the last season of ‘Lost.’ ”

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Ann Romney lashed out at Republican critics of her husband in two media appearances on Thursday, telling them to "stop it."

Wow, Ann, multiple media appearances on the same day? I guess that tough day after Mittens was caught on video revealing how he really feels about us regular Americans is just dragging on, and on.

First, during a sit-down interview with CBS 58 in Milwaukee, Mrs. Romney was asked about the second-guessing within the GOP camp over the campaign.

"You know there is always sniping and everyone always thinks they are the best critic, and they know this and they know that," she said. "And you know what? It is really amazing to me that people forget that what this election really is about is the economy."

Then in an interview with Radio Iowa, Ann gets rather snippy...

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Neither of the Romneys seem to be able to control their snobbery.

"Stop it. This is hard. You want to try it? Get in the ring,” she said. “This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.”...

...“It’s nonsense and the chattering class…you hear it and then you just let it go right by,” she told Radio Iowa. “…Honestly, at this point, I’m not surprised by anything.”

The "chattering class" is a generally derogatory term first coined by Auberon Waugh, often used by pundits and political commentators to refer to a politically active, socially concerned and highly educated section of the "metropolitan middle class," especially those with political, media, and academic connections. It is sometimes used to refer to a liberal elite.

Stephen Perrault, the director of defining for the Merriam-Webster dictionary has suggested that "Chattering is like prattling," he said, "and it has the same connotations of idleness, of useless talk, that the noun 'chatter' does." The implication, Mr. Perrault said, is that "these people don't amount to much — they like to hear themselves talk."

Well, at least Ann and her husband Willard Mittens are consistent on something, their total disdain for 47% of America.

A tip o' the hat to Heather and Nonny.

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H/T to Heather for the video embed

On the first primetime night of the Republican National Convention, the GOP dispatched Ann Romney to score points with women voters, and lessen some of the damage done by the abortion and rape debate inflamed by recent comments from Senator Todd Akin.

"Tonight, we salute you and sing your praises."

"I'm not sure if men really understand this, but I don't think there's a woman in America who really expects her life to be easy. In our own ways, we all know better!"

"And that's fine. We don't want easy. But these last few years have been harder than they needed to be. It's all the little things — that price at the pump you just can't believe, the grocery bills that just get bigger; all those things that used to be free, like school sports, are now one more bill to pay. It's all the little things that pile up to become big things. And the big things — the good jobs, the chance at college, that home you want to buy, just get harder. Everything has become harder."

Mrs. Romney's personal touch may well sway some women voters, especially if their politics leaned Republican to begin with. The reason her speech may score those crucial women's votes is because she can call attention to any of today's hot button issues without having to address how the Romney-Ryan platform will help or hinder these issues for Americans.

And if her personal anecdotes of growing up in small town America (No mention of that small town being the 4th wealthiest in the nation), meeting and falling in love with her husband at a school dance helped humanize Mitt Romney for anyone, that will just be icing on the cake come November.

"When Mitt and I met and fell in love, we were determined not to let anything stand in the way of our life together. I was an Episcopalian. He was a Mormon."

"We were very young. Both still in college. There were many reasons to delay marriage, and you know? We just didn't care. We got married and moved into a basement apartment. We walked to class together, shared the housekeeping, and ate a lot of pasta and tuna fish. Our desk was a door propped up on sawhorses. Our dining room table was a fold down ironing board in the kitchen. Those were very special days."

"Then our first son came along. All at once I'm 22 years old, with a baby and a husband who's going to business school and law school at the same time, and I can tell you, probably like every other girl who finds herself in a new life far from family and friends, with a new baby and a new husband, that it dawned on me that I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into."

"That was 42 years ago. Now we have five sons and 18 grandchildren and I'm still in love with that boy I met at a high school dance."

This part of the speech fell flat for me, because I've heard most of it so many times before from other women. Young and in love, living in a basement apartment eating tuna and pasta while using a door propped on sawhorses for either a table or desk, and a fold down ironing board in the kitchen that doubled as a table. I'm wondering now if it's a chapter out of some old romance novel that's been passed around for years and years; "Chapter 3: What Have I Gotten Myself Into?" But an example of hardship? Not so much.

"I read somewhere that Mitt and I have a "storybook marriage." Well, in the storybooks I read, there were never long, long, rainy winter afternoons in a house with five boys screaming at once. And those storybooks never seemed to have chapters called MS or Breast Cancer."

"A storybook marriage? No, not at all. What Mitt Romney and I have is a real marriage."

What? A "real marriage," is that anything like a "legitimate" marriage? This came across as a slam, but aimed at whom? If your marriage failed it wasn't "real"? People without large families? The Obamas?

"No one will move heaven and earth like Mitt Romney to make this country a better place to live!"

Mitt Romney in April 2007: [Romney] said the country would be safer by only “a small percentage” and would see “a very insignificant increase in safety” if al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden was caught because another terrorist would rise to power. “It’s not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person,” Romney said.

"You can trust Mitt."

Release your income tax returns.

Ann Romney's comment last week on "Good Morning America" raised some eyebrows when she said Mitt wasn't going to release anymore of their tax returns to "you people". Watch as she explains what she really meant and why you people need to cut them some slack.

A parody from comedienne/impersonator Rosemary Watson.